Piss Takes and Pregnancy Tests

FaceyB is being over run with pictures such as 
and every time we see one we know exactly who they’re referring to.
Throughout life we always have a best friend. At primary school it was who you shared toys with, the one you played mommies and babies with and whose hair you would make into plaits. Throughout secondary school you discovered boys, make up, drinking and generally perfected the art of ‘doing nothing.’
Over the years there may be a few people who you call your best friend, but you know there has always been that one person who you have that unbreakable connection with. I found mine in year 10 and quite accidentally. She, another friend and I was discussing plans for a night out and we couldn’t work out the logistics of us all getting back inline with when we all needed to. “Well why don’t you just stop at mine?” I asked. I didn’t even know who she was and had never even spoke to her before. (Crazy logic of being a teenager) Nevertheless, she did and from then on we pretty much spent all our time together. We were always at each others houses.. or so we led others to believe. We went to the pub together, drank in fields together, went on epic adventures and went through relationships and breakups together.
We shared everything from secrets, clothes, advice (it didn’t matter that the advice was laughing at each other and just saying ‘you’re fucked’ ) and always had each others backs. Inf act we were that close we were 100% convinced our mothers were secretly friends and spying on us. In fact this sums us up:
A few years later and an alcohol fueled argument we fell out and did not speak for ages, yet I still missed her. A while later we got talking again and although we don’t see each other as often as anymore and we both have other besties (mine being the gays) we both know we will be there for each other.
After all could you really ask your male friends to check body parts for illness, understand the need of been kicked out of a shared bed to go buy tampons, understand why it’s ok to break ‘i will never try…’ promises. And what man can you compare sex stories to whilst doing a pregnancy test (or seven) with you just for moral support? The one that will sit by your side as we pick holes in other peoples lives who have wronged us, whilst knowing full well our own lives are just as tragic. And who but your best friend can your only insult be ‘shut up’ and your biggest defense be ‘don’t judge’ ?
For all the ups and down’s we have had and whether we go a hour or months without seeing you. It doesn’t matter cause you mean everything to me. Sentiments over, WERE GOING CAFE.



Real Fruit VS Plastic Fruit

A while ago I was having a browse through the old FaceyB and Twitter and it seemed as every male was lusting over some celebrity or another. Now I am the first to admit I do appreciate a little beauty but I am a firm believer in personality so the fact that celebrities can be deemed as ‘perfect’ and ‘dream woman’ actually really annoyed. As a person who is reasonably accepting of their looks (or at least confident enough to leave the house without makeup on every day) I find it really degrading that women are constantly compared to those with photoshop, personal chefs, personal trainers and enough money to be besties with plastic surgeons.

(picture as a comparison between me and the mens favoured celeb. I have nothing against her, just the mens attitudes)




So after my little rant, most men seemed confused by my little rant. They did not seem to understand how it gets girls down by knowing men prefer something that we will more than likely never achieve and were put out by being “second best.” Then one of them the analogy that women are like fruit. Liking celebrities is similar to liking plastic fruit. They are aesthetically beautiful, in proportion and smooth to the touch. However, they are hollow on the inside and do not really serve a purpose.  Image 


Whereas on the other hand, real women are like real fruit. None of them are the same, some are smooth, bumpy, rounder, bruised or sweeter than others. However, they are all good for you and well they’re real. Only real fruit will give you the taste, flavour and nutrients you want and need. Image

This comparison actually made me think, maybe it is just women over analysing stuff and our unjust view is just that unjust? Maybe we are whats really wanted and needed! What a positive and empowering moment. And then I remembered people buy fruit with the best of intentions, and then it’s left and forgotten about and eventually tossed out… So I resumed my objection to celebrity idolatry.