I don’t care if you think I’m selfish 

Today an acquaintance (at most) called me really selfish. Why? Because I turned down a offer to go to a place I had zero interest in going. I couldn’t of gone anyway as I had a uni lecture and I want to spend some time studying. 

But the point was I didn’t want to. It wasn’t some where that interested me and well I didn’t want to. Their response was that I was selfish. 

Am I? I didn’t stop them from going. Should I do something I don’t enjoy just to appease another? In some situations there be a reason to do so. However, I feel that I should be able to say no. I don’t see why I should be made to do things that would not bring enjoyment to my day. I do put myself first in a lot of situations because at the end of the day self care is a must. 

Admittedly this has not always been the case. Once upon a time I would agree to absolutely everything. To the point where I was spending money I didn’t have and triple booking and running myself into the ground trying to keep up with everyone. And I broke. I’ve learnt that it’s just not feasible. It’s ok to say no. And I understand if you say no too. 

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All the small things. 

Today I feel so happy and just in tune with life. I know it sounds so soppy, but I’m trying to take time out to appreciate the things that make me smile but not necessarily would be noted for more than a fleeting moment. 

One of these was spotting some rabbits in a field on the way to work. Usually on the trip I’d be on my phone or trying to nap. But a few days ago I was sitting with an elderly couple. I had moved seats so they could sit facing forward and I sat backwards. It was nothing to me but meant a lot to them as she got really motion sick if she didn’t face the way she was going. Anyway we got talking and they started pointing out the different fields and different wildlife. We saw herons, rabbits, badger and and a few foxes. And they were beautiful. Seeing them today made me smile because sometimes your heart needs the most innocent of pleasures. 

And a not sucky date 

So it’s been nearly a month since I posted about my date that sucked. Well since then I was coerced into downloading Tinder. I admit swiping isn’t really my thing as I don’t fancy people at all until I know them. So I decided to swipe on people who I thought I would eventually get to know. 

Maybe that’s what attraction is really. We look for things we have in common. It might be they are wearing a band t shirt we like. That kind of thing can sway a yes or a no. I’m sure there’s probably lots of research into that kind of thing but not the time and place. 

Anyway I swiped right for a few and I went on one or two nice dates. Pleasant conversation but nothing more. And I also went on a really lovely date that has been followed by a few more dates which has now led to me renaming his cat and a mutual appreciation for home made milkshakes. 

All in all things are looking lovely.