Piss Takes and Pregnancy Tests

FaceyB is being over run with pictures such as 
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and every time we see one we know exactly who they’re referring to.
 
Throughout life we always have a best friend. At primary school it was who you shared toys with, the one you played mommies and babies with and whose hair you would make into plaits. Throughout secondary school you discovered boys, make up, drinking and generally perfected the art of ‘doing nothing.’
 
Over the years there may be a few people who you call your best friend, but you know there has always been that one person who you have that unbreakable connection with. I found mine in year 10 and quite accidentally. She, another friend and I was discussing plans for a night out and we couldn’t work out the logistics of us all getting back inline with when we all needed to. “Well why don’t you just stop at mine?” I asked. I didn’t even know who she was and had never even spoke to her before. (Crazy logic of being a teenager) Nevertheless, she did and from then on we pretty much spent all our time together. We were always at each others houses.. or so we led others to believe. We went to the pub together, drank in fields together, went on epic adventures and went through relationships and breakups together.
 
We shared everything from secrets, clothes, advice (it didn’t matter that the advice was laughing at each other and just saying ‘you’re fucked’ ) and always had each others backs. Inf act we were that close we were 100% convinced our mothers were secretly friends and spying on us. In fact this sums us up:
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A few years later and an alcohol fueled argument we fell out and did not speak for ages, yet I still missed her. A while later we got talking again and although we don’t see each other as often as anymore and we both have other besties (mine being the gays) we both know we will be there for each other.
 
After all could you really ask your male friends to check body parts for illness, understand the need of been kicked out of a shared bed to go buy tampons, understand why it’s ok to break ‘i will never try…’ promises. And what man can you compare sex stories to whilst doing a pregnancy test (or seven) with you just for moral support? The one that will sit by your side as we pick holes in other peoples lives who have wronged us, whilst knowing full well our own lives are just as tragic. And who but your best friend can your only insult be ‘shut up’ and your biggest defense be ‘don’t judge’ ?
 
For all the ups and down’s we have had and whether we go a hour or months without seeing you. It doesn’t matter cause you mean everything to me. Sentiments over, WERE GOING CAFE.

 

Washing powder and lemon juice.

Self grooming and appearance is something we all have views on. Some *say* that they’re not bothered about it and I can see their sentiment. Yes personality is more important but theres still something about making an effort that make you feel good.

The importance of what you look like pretty much determines your social status once you hit secondary school and if you didn’t ‘do’ you were pretty much a tramp.

But who teaches you these things? My family was never really beauty conscious and I’d never really met any of my friends parents so we pretty much relied on teen mags and ta dahhh Google!!!

So we learnt the art of plucking eyebrows, shaving legs, painting nails and the art of blow drying properly by reading and testing it out on each other with a determination to precision (of which of it could be bottled and sold would make a fortune) and we all pretty much got the hang of it.

Needless to say, we all have our favourite areas to focus on, some their tans, some their make up and other their hair. My favourite to faff with was my hair. (As a disclaimer: I do not mean into any kind of style or cut I purely mean colour.) I love blonde hair, pink hair, black hair and every colour hair. However, I get bored really easy and can never afford to have it professionally done, besides there is something comforting about the stench of peroxide, the achievement of DIY and looking back at the mismatch of the colour patchwork on the hair towel built up over the last 11 years.

The first time I dyed my hair I was about 12 years old and went from platinum blonde to ‘electric pink’ which my mom did for me whilst sitting in the garden, and ever since I have been every colour since. (When asked at a much later date why on earth she did it, my moms reply was simply: if I didn’t you would have.)

There had only been one time in the last 11 years when I have had my natural colour through, and that was after cutting my hair really short (grade 2) twice so I could finally go bleach blonde and not have to worry about two tone ginger bits!

I rocked the blonde for about 9 months (the longest I have ever been one colour) until I got bored again, booked and appointment at the college hairdressers to go ginger (yes I do embrace the ginger as and when it suits) which I loved. I was actually in love with this colour but alas I was told it was permanent, but exactly 4 washes later and it was virtually gone.

So now I have decided to go back to my natural blondey brown hair but I don’t want to cut all my hair off again, so what to do? Obviously the only thing to do is turn to google. It is shocking how many people claim to be experts and the advice ranged from ‘get over it’ to ‘mix bleach and vinegar’ neither of these seemed suitable so I decided to go with a mixture of washing powder and lemon juice mixed into a paste and left on for a minimum of two hours. Yes I questioned my sanity and did say a quick prayer that all my hair didn’t fall out. But it worked my hair is lighter and back to blonde in some places.

So the moral of the story is do not me afraid to try, and yes advice might be a bit bizarre but there will e some one that knows.

Saving The World

From a young age, maybe around two or three, I attended church right through until I was about nineteen…. Well until I was just far too hungover and usually the other side of town waking up on some ones settee wondering where on earth I was and sending a quick prayer that I had not done anything I would later regret. This fact surprises most people mainly due to a) my music tastes, b) my support and love for LGBT people and issues and c) I have never preached.

From the age of thirteen I properly discovered rock music, Queen, Rammstein, Aerosmith and most importantly at the time Marilyn Manson. I sported the black lipstick, the piercings and bright pink/black/blue/purple/red/orange hair to go with the ‘look.’

rock n roll

However, I still went to church and I was still accepted into the church community. Why, because I still believed in the Christian ideals. I don’t believe the world was created in six days and Jesus made wine into water, but I do believe that we should all try and be good people and to help others as and when we can.

cake stallCharity. Anything to do with charity, raising funds, raising awareness, helping out, volunteering and I want to be a part of it. I cannot help myself and I feel like such a letdown if I cannot help in some way.  I have organised and taken part in sponsored silences, sponsored walks, bunjee jumps, cake stalls, fayres and fetes all to raise money for different causes. My latest thing is to sign up for a half marathon to raise money for The British Heart Foundation which was done on a whim as an incentive to get fit. All I had to do was pledge to raise a minimum of £400 (if you would like to help out http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MissRaeGNR )  As well as fundraising for a charity school abroad (will give more details of this in another post)collection tins

Now in a conversation around charity working and volunteering, I was asked the question ‘Why do all that, it’s not like you can save the world?’

Well the answer was truthfully ‘because I like helping.’ I know I am not going to change the world or discover world peace, but even if I help just one life or a process to help others help others than that’s my accomplishment. Am I doing it to back up brownie points to get into heaven? No, besides any I do gain will be counteracted by the drinking, cursing and my regular indulgence in the seven deadly sins, (Lust chocolate, greed over chocolate and sloth do nothing about it)

Luke 21:1-4

The Widow’s Offering

21 As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

Being a Soulmate

Theodora Goss

I’ve been thinking about the idea of a soulmate, because I’ve seen friends who are in relationships, and friends who are not in relationships but searching for romantic partners. The idea of a soulmate is central to our idea of relationships now, isn’t it? That’s what we are all searching for, a soul mate, a partner who shares something with us that is of the soul, that goes to the core of who we are. I’ve seen friends who are convinced they are with their soulmates, and friends who are trying to find theirs . . .

And it seems to me that we’re thinking about the concept in the wrong way.

The goal shouldn’t be to find a soulmate. It should be to actually be a soulmate. And I think a soulmate is not necessarily a romantic partner. It’s anyone with whom you have a deep connection, and…

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Real Fruit VS Plastic Fruit

A while ago I was having a browse through the old FaceyB and Twitter and it seemed as every male was lusting over some celebrity or another. Now I am the first to admit I do appreciate a little beauty but I am a firm believer in personality so the fact that celebrities can be deemed as ‘perfect’ and ‘dream woman’ actually really annoyed. As a person who is reasonably accepting of their looks (or at least confident enough to leave the house without makeup on every day) I find it really degrading that women are constantly compared to those with photoshop, personal chefs, personal trainers and enough money to be besties with plastic surgeons.

(picture as a comparison between me and the mens favoured celeb. I have nothing against her, just the mens attitudes)

 

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So after my little rant, most men seemed confused by my little rant. They did not seem to understand how it gets girls down by knowing men prefer something that we will more than likely never achieve and were put out by being “second best.” Then one of them the analogy that women are like fruit. Liking celebrities is similar to liking plastic fruit. They are aesthetically beautiful, in proportion and smooth to the touch. However, they are hollow on the inside and do not really serve a purpose.  Image 

 

Whereas on the other hand, real women are like real fruit. None of them are the same, some are smooth, bumpy, rounder, bruised or sweeter than others. However, they are all good for you and well they’re real. Only real fruit will give you the taste, flavour and nutrients you want and need. Image

This comparison actually made me think, maybe it is just women over analysing stuff and our unjust view is just that unjust? Maybe we are whats really wanted and needed! What a positive and empowering moment. And then I remembered people buy fruit with the best of intentions, and then it’s left and forgotten about and eventually tossed out… So I resumed my objection to celebrity idolatry.